Kara (karabooo) wrote,

Human Moments

I rarely feel actively excited about something, but when I do, the feeling is all-consuming. I spend all day researching. I wake up in the night thinking about it. I stay sane by sharing my ideas with my confidants -- until they get tired of hearing about it. In response to their annoyance, I try to bottle it up. I try to work solo and, whenever possible, work around the roadblocks that require me to collaborate with others. But sometimes there are roadblocks that I can't work around. My fervor transforms into a sickness that plagues me and makes me want to burst with frustration.

Over time I feel I will explode, so I try to bring the subject up again. My confidants immediately shoot me down. They leave without hugging me goodbye, and, left with no other outlet, I collapse into tears.

Is there anything more cruel than to ask a person who is obsessing to repress, dampen, or kill their enthusiasm?

Things eventually run their course, and the obsession will wane. I always try to be considerate and hold my tongue, but I wish people understood how hard that is to do when I'm going through this. The kindest thing anyone could do is offer patience and understanding along the way, but many fail to respond in this fashion, probably because they don't recognize my attempts to be considerate, nor do they empathize with my plight.
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